Lack, of, confidence.

This one post, is gonna be a long one. But it’s for everything that’s happened since my previous post. Actually not everything, but because some gay named Ernest that I failed to meet to pass him some stuffs for the past few days got pissed and says to me on the phone just now that I must fully explain to him why. And also, please remember to take a look at the good deals I have after the end of the post.
So here goes..

Stuffs that happened after my previous post:

Work at Orchard Hotel. WangTe spilt drinks onto a customer, placed his tray on the carpet, and then XiYi tripped over his tray and spilt all her drinks on the carpet. I laughed and got scolded. LOL. After work, was a mini celebration of MuJia’s birthday. We couldn’t decide where to go, what to do, and somehow ended up at Changi Airport, and even spent the night there. We alighted CityBus 36 at T1, took the sky train to T2, went hunting for a suitable cafe/restaurant to sit and eat at, and we did so at Polar. I bought her a slice of black forest which was decided by drawing of lots. And I bought myself.. err, a hotdog roll and a curry puff. After that we basically walked and sat around till 6AM when the city buses start operating, went to Tampines where she lives and then cabbed home.

I reached home at about, 7AM, bathed and all, then slept till 11AM. Headed down to work at Celio, which ended at 7PM. Then biased Lydia got me to look her and MuJia up at Takashimaya’s art friend, waited for Hong Wee, and we went to Cine’s food court to give MuJia a surprise celebration. Haha, got Hong Wee to buy his food and go back to his sit, while me and Lydia went up and bought two slices of cheese cake and the very last candle they had.
There are actually friends out there who uses the amount of oil left in a lighter to limit their friendship! Okay anyway, after the singing of birthday song, eating of cake, talking of crap and all, MuJia went home to get some stuffs, while me, Lydia and Hong Wee rented DVDs(Shrek 3 and Hannibal Rising) at Thomson Plaza for the stayover at Lydia’s house later on. For the night, there was Me, Hong Wee, Lydia, MuJia, JunJie, and JasonKoh. Watched Xiong Di, brought by JunJie and Jason, then watched Shrek3. I fell asleep while watching Shrek3, the rest fell asleep after watching Shrek3, except for MuJia who went to sleep the moment it started.
All of us woke up at about 11AM today, I came home to bathe and change and went back there. Watched Hannibal Rising, played some card games, blah. Then we all left for our work and stuffs.
I don’t have the pictures, maybe at Lydia’s blog.

VERYGOODDEALS:

Intel Chipset MainBoard (945)
(MASSIVE) 1GB DDR2 533 Mhz\677 memory
Intel Extreme Graphics 2 int. AGI ( up 64Mb*)
80GB Harddisk Drive 7200rpm SATA2
DVD RW + (DUal layer)
7.1ch AC’97 Audio sound int.
10/100 Ethernet POrt
6* USB2.0 port (2xfront 4x Rear)
P4 ATX Tower Casing w/ Smart Power Supply
PS/2 Keyboard, optical mouse & speakers
19inch LCD monitor

Intel Dual Core E2140 1.6Ghz =$800
Intel Core 2 Duo E4400 2.0Ghz = $890
Intel Core 2 Duo E6420 2.13Ghz = $955
Intel Core 2 Duo E6550 2.33Ghz = $1062
Intel Core 2 Duo E6750 2.66GHz = $1105
OR
19Inch LCD + ALL IN 1 INERNAL CARD READER
Intel Dual Core E2140 1.6Ghz =$864
Intel Core 2 Duo E6320 1.86Ghz = $964
Intel Core 2 Duo E6400 2.13Ghz = $1094
Intel Core 2 Duo E6600 2.4Ghz = $1122

Excuse me sir, may I get you a new cup of drink?

Yesterday, I was serving drinks. Today, I served drinks again. I wasn’t appointed to any specific table(s), and so for today, the dumb managers made me run all over the place doing things for them. If not for the good pay and flexible working hours, I wouldn’t even think about working as a waiter. I promised to work for about two weeks or a month, but today, Celio called me up saying that I’m hired and that I can go for their training next week! They pay 50cents less on weekdays, but working there is a thousand times more relaxing than working as a waiter at Orchard Hotel!

I’ve e-mails saying that my entries aren’t as “enthusiastic” as before nowadays.. Yeah I think so too, it’s probably because I’ve been busy this days, give me some time and I will bring back that enthusiasm :D

Actually it’s also partly because I’ve covered many topics and I don’t know what else to “explain” to people.

Black

Met up with YingZong at Junction8, bought our black pants, headed down to FarEast to buy our leather shoes. Both for work. Along the way we met quite a few GuangYang people, all out after the exams man. Not to mention, teachers as well.

We met up with TangJie and two other guys at 5:40PM, we were late for work, but oh well, better late then never. First day of work, we ended at around 11 and took our pay, left for home.

Tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, the whole week, as usual. But tomorrow onwards, Lydia and a friend of hers would be joining in.

Determination

Have you ever found motivation to study really hard, and halfway through, when your exams are just weeks away, you completely lose all the motivation you have, flunk every single test, and indulge yourself in your forms of entertainment? I have.

Primary 1 to Primary 3, I had extremely good results, but never mind that, primary school stuffs are really easy. Except until primary 5 and 6, I practically flunked everything, indulged myself in computer games, arcade games, sports, going out and so on. Even until the night before PSLE officially starts, I did not touch my books at all. Well maybe I did flip through, but I remember clearly, at that time, it was just for show to my parents. The consequences I faced are that, I scored a pathetic aggregate of 179/300.

It never ended all the way until last day, when I saw some of my classmates, schoolmates, and friends outside retain or drop out of school. Their facial expressions struck me hard. At that time,  I was motivated to study, I woke up. But, I went back to sleep, only until recently, I don’t know how, I just found  some motivation, and through books, through living examples, determination in me built up, I don’t know if I’ll even make it through N levels, I won’t say that I woke up early enough, but who knows.

I won’t talk about where to find inspiration and motivation, I’ll talk about where to find determination, where or how, to start building it up. This post is more for those who are stuck, but people who can’t even find inspiration and motivation, hope you find it here, infact, all 3 are linked more or less, because when you are inspired, you are motivated, when you are motivated, determination is the last thing you need to succeed.

Take a baby for example. When babies are born, they don’t have any negative thoughts, all they think about is want, want more, want a lot more. They want milk, they want food, they want warmth, they want everything that seems nice to them, they want more. They don’t think anything about not wanting anything. They don’t fear losing anything. There is no other thought in their mind that is deterring them from getting what they want. They don’t know how to walk on 2 legs, but once they see it, they get inspired, motivated, and TOTALLY determined to walk on 2 legs, they don’t know pain, they don’t know what’s falling down, they are not scared of them both, they don’t know what’s failure, they don’t know what’s depression, they don’t know what’s being pissed off, they don’t know that being laughed at isn’t a good thing, they have no thoughts stopping them from attempting to stand up and walk on 2 legs. They then keep on trying and trying, and finally, one fine day, they make it.

You see, what breaks down our determination is our mood, our feeling, our thoughts. When we think about the many things to do before succeeding, we feel tired even before starting. It’s all in our mind. Whatever’s stopping us, is inside us. But don’t forget, whatever’s able to start us up, is inside us as well. Why think about the long way and many things to do before succeed, when you can think of how much money, how much glory, how much your x-factor is going to increase, how much respect you will get, when you succeed? Why think about someone who turns into a millionaire overnight by striking lottery, when you can think about how long more does he have before finish spending the money and earning twice or more his million with just a little bit of thinking with your powerful experienced brain? Don’t think about the process, think about the results.

Take it all away

Met up with all at 2:30pm today. There was Ian Huan, Jerome, Shao Loong, Dixon, ChunYu, JunJie. JunJie and ChunYu left us upon arrival at Orchard. The rest of us decided to play pool first before shopping, although Ian bought a hat first. We played for awhile before Ian left for the hospital to visit his aunt. We played $32.50 of pool.

We headed down to FarEast Plaza, to eat, and shop. It was 9.41PM(I remembered, for I don’t know why). And we took 143 to Toa Payoh interchange together, to leave for home.

Originality

How do you style your hair, how do you wear your clothes, what style do you wear them, how do you speak, what do you do. Do you do things the way you do it due to influence or you do it your very own way?

Do you piss your friends off when you seem to wear, do and act like they do?

Do you get pissed off when your friends seem to wear, do and act like you do?

I wouldn’t get pissed off if I were you, because it goes to shows that I’m off great influence. I only get pissed off when I can’t think of any “new stuffs” to come up with.

It’s true, sometimes doing things the way successful do so, can lead you to success too. But it’s just sometimes. What if someone strikes lottery and uses the money to luckily set up a successful business. How are you gonna copy the lottery part?

You see, when you copy, you are always one step behind. When you copied someone all the way, and he suddenly stops. You stop too. When someone you copy becomes a millionaire and stops there, why not be a billionaire instead? He might copy you as a result. Someone you once idolized, now idolizes you.