I guess you’ve probably done some thinking through, right?

I believe many people are contradicting themselves right now.

Some say that they wanna keep in touch as often even after school reopens but now is now too engrossed with their new friends.

Some say they wouldn’t let relationships affect their life anymore but now is now in love with friends of the opposite sex made recently.

Some resolute to study hard this year but is right now taking back all their words the because the teacher says lesson begins on the second day of school.

Some say they will do their homework immediately after dinner but end up watching television.

Some say they will save a percentage of their money earned during the holidays but has spent them on expensive school bags, shoes, and so on.

Some say they don’t give a damn about the failed relationship, when deep down inside, they give the world’s damn.

I’m writing my chinese journal now, the title is, “What have I gained and lost during the school holidays.”
Besides knowledge, besides experience, I really don’t know what have I gained, and what have I lost. I’ve earned money, I’ve lost money, I’ve made friends, I’ve lost friends. So many things has happened. I don’t really know how to start writing.

我想我是太过依赖
在挂电话的刚才
坚持学单纯的小孩
静静看守这份爱
知道不能太依赖
怕你会把我宠坏
你的香味一直徘徊
我舍不得离开

Some people are very easily affected by just words alone. — People like me.

I’ve been tired since I woke up today, or rather, yesterday.
My mood right now is rather shitty. I don’t know.
I don’t know what’s going on.
I don’t know what’s happening.
I don’t know why.
I know this is normal.
I don’t know why is this normal.
I know the cause. — The thoughts running through my mind right now.
At times like that, I’d usually hit the gym, dive into the pool, or simply blast music with my headset on.
It’s 3:32AM, both the gym and the pool are closed, and my songs are contributing to the thoughts in my mind right now, that I refuse to get rid of. I wanna continue thinking the thoughts that are in my mind now, that are making me feel screwed up.
I’m holding onto “what if.”
If it wasn’t there, now I’d be a 100% confused man.
Maybe I’m too sensitive, but oh well.

My dog looks like a lamb now.

But it’s a heart that beats only for you.

At the end of the day..
Who do you wanna be?
What do you wanna have done?
Where do you wanna be?

Many people would say..
“I wanna be a well-known wealthy person.”
“I want to be someone who has experienced everything in life, and be known as the wise one.”
“I wanna be on the 101th honeymoon with my partner while my kids are busy with their families.”

Look at everybody around you, do you think they would share the same thought? Maybe not, but surely, at the end of the day, they want to be someone who is able to possess all of that whenever he or she wants to.
The thing is, will they? Don’t ask whether they can, ask whether they will. Because they can, you can, everyone can. Many people will ask, “I want to be like that, but how?”

I mentioned before that you should never ask how. Just think about being there already. When you go for trainings from pros, they make you do everything they’ve done before that’s made them who they are today, and they tell you everything that slowed them down in the process. So basically, you go for their trainings just to copy their “successful footsteps,” you are just copying what they do, to be like them.
You see, if you wanna be a wealthy person, would you rather spend time thinking of how to be a rich person, or spend your time thinking that you are a wealthy person? Majority would say, spend time thinking of how, and then say because to be a wealthy person, you need to know how to be one first. Yes, true enough, you need to know how, you need a solution. But what makes you think that spending time imaginating that you’re a wealthy person won’t give you a solution? When you are able to imagine your future, you are able to imagine your future job, your future source of income, that’s when you have something to “work towards.” You can imagine yourself being the boss of a sports car company, so right now, you start to do your research on sport cars. If you don’t even know what you’re gonna do in future, and you just sit down and think of how to be rich, I assure you that you’re gonna take a long and boring time to become wealthy.

She’s so confused, she know she deserves more, someone who will love and adore.
But his money is hard to ignore, she really doesn’t know what to do.
Girl, it’s just a matter of time, before he finds, some other more fine.
After his done dulling your shine, you’re out the door and his through with you.
Tell me is the money worth your soul.
Tell me what’s the reason that you hold on when you know that dud, has a whole wall of em just like you.

Post repitition

Have you ever wondered where does space lead to?
Have you ever wondered if there’s an end to space?
I doubt so.
For everything, we need space.
We need space to breathe, we need space to move, we need space to build, we need space to do.
Think again.
For everything, space is used.
Space is used to store air, space is used to enable our movements, space is used to build, space is used to do.
Space is the place where we realize our potential.
I believe also, that space is endless.
So that an architect who believes in building a tower that is three times taller than Earth, has the space to do it.
So that when scientists believe in designing a craft able to fly into space as deep as they want, has the space to prove it.
So that when one believes in flying away from Earth into space where no one thought was possible to reach, has the space to prove it.
So that when Earth is out of land space, has the space to carry out plans.
I bet, that in the future, breathing in outer space would not be a problem. I can see it.
Nothing’s impossible, even if it seems so. Because it only seems so now.
If inedible unriped fruit can turn into an edible riped fruit, unbreathable air can turn into breathable air.
If electricity can light up Earth, humans can light up space.
If scientists can alter the characteristics and properties of elements to adapt to a certain thing, they can do the same to themselves, humans.
Again, I’m saying here, that everything comes from within, not from without.
Nothing comes from space, everything in space comes from within us, within our minds.
Things only seem impossible when it is believed to be impossible. But the fact is, everything is possible.
For everything, we have space to do it, we have our minds to occupy space.
Space is our toy. It’s up to us as to how are we gonna play with it.
We must play with it, we have no choice.
No matter what, at the end of the day, this toy of ours will either be spoilt, or upgraded.
Whatever it is, all we need to know is.
Everything comes from within, not without.
Space is there for everything within us to be taken out.

Something urged me to post this up, again. I don’t know why.

I’m now waiting for my chauffeur. Okay, I meant I’m waiting for ShaoLoong and his cab to come pick me up, or rather, Me and KianWei up, and head down to YioChuKang GRC for our prom night.

4 posts, in 2 days.

This is what I think about myself, or rather, what I have to say about myself:

1. Emotionally, I am VERY, VERY, sensitive. You hardly get to see my breakdown because I control my emotions well. Even if I do breakdown, I’d hardly let anyone see.
2. I control my emotions well, I control my anger well.
3. I get pissed off very easily as well, but then again, I can keep everything in well.
4. I am capable of keeping things to myself so much so that I think I am overdoing it, I really need to see a counsellor/psychologist because their title reduces my reluctance to spill everything out.
5. There are some people I know that I can share my problems with.
6. There are some people that I WANT to know my problems, but I can’t seem to let them know.
7. I am easily distracted by my thoughts.
8. I can think so hard it takes someone shouting right into my ears to get my attention.
9. I am very sentimental. And I mean, very. Never mind, make that extremely.
10. I can endure “longer than I can” when I am determined(Usually when something of mine is at stake).
11. I fall in love easily. I am VERY vulnerable to limerence.
12. I love laughing.
13. For now,  I think I’m feeling very down.
14. I like to create, I like to design, I like to make.
15. I like to argue, I like to debate, I like to explain.
16. I like to analyze problems.
17. There are many stuffs I tell people to do, that I myself don’t know how to, YET.
18. I can’t bear to let go off my memories with close friends.
19. I like music.
20. I like to hear of people’s problems. I like to share people’s problems. I like to solve people’s problem for them. I like people to confide in me. I wanna be everybody’s confidant.

It’s 3AM. I’m not feeling very happy. I’m feeling very… This isn’t a good feeling for all I care.

40% discount

First day working at Celio today. It’s a really good job man. Very relaxed. Every hour, only about 2 customers, or groups of them, come in. Probably because of the “rich” location and killer costs of their products. All Celio staffs get a 40% discount on each purchase of their product.

I ended work at 4:30PM, I changed plans for the day many times today. Initially I wanted to meet QuinFei, then Jason called and asked to meet, then Shawn, then Lydia too. But I never met any of them. I ended up meeting up with ChunYu, hanged around FarEast waiting for Charles, in which we failed to patiently, and so we met KianWei to find the rest for dinner. I didn’t eat though. We chatted for quite some time before leaving. There was Ian, Desmond, Cheng Feng, JianYou, Me, KianWei, ChunYu, Charles, YongWei, and DeSheng. Beside Charles and ChunYu, who headed off to hunt for clothes after that, the rest headed home, and I went for supper with an asshole. Eheheh.

There’s no point voicing out to people who can’t help. Doing so will only irritate others. If you have the guts, voice out to people who have the power to change whatever you’re unhappy with. If you never like doing something, but if you don’t do that something, someone else who can control you would be unhappy. If you care about that person’s happiness, it means  you are willing to do that something, otherwise, voice it out to him or her.

E-mail, e-mail.

 It’s an email I received from some teenage guy, around my age according to him. Wanting to know how to teenage girls get attracted in my point of view.

Haha, honestly speaking, I don’t know. Yet. But I’ll give it a go. ;D

Firstly, you have to know whether a girl is fully matured or not. How do you know? Let’s assume the guy is a perfect one. She wants a breaks up for no good reason, she doesn’t attempt to handle the reason, she falls for other guys although her’s is almost as good or better, she gets bored of him, very small things about a guy can impress her and make her over the moon.

Hahaha, basically this means, even when the best guy/partner on Earth stands infront of a “immature girl,” she might not choose him! There is no fixed reason for an immature girl’s attraction!

It’s different, for different girls, or maybe, for girls in different groups. Look at their friends. Because immature girls would most probably go for reputation or status among their friends, they would probably get a guy that their friends look up to. So if you like a girl whose in love with rock bands, then she probably likes guys like the guys in that band. If she’s crazy over guys who drive, who ride, who are filthy rich, good luck. If she’s crazy over music, most probably she likes musicians. They say teenagers are too young to go into a relationship, because you see, they fall in love, according to what they like at that time, what they feel at that time. If you do a make over and look like some punk, and your girlfriend suddenly falls in love with horse racers, are you gonna go ride horses in skinny jeans, super thick eyebrows, black lips, and a head half bald?

But one thing for sure, all girls do go for security and comfort. Imagine going out with a guy who talks to you about killing everyday. Or imagine going out with a girl, and when some big sized gangsters approaches her for her number, your tone, your face, and everything else changes and obviously telling everyone that you’re scared. Your mouth plays a big role in getting, keeping and maintaining a relationship, your actions too.

It’s solid, too hard to break, and we’ve got it, it’s too hard to take.

Black

Met up with YingZong at Junction8, bought our black pants, headed down to FarEast to buy our leather shoes. Both for work. Along the way we met quite a few GuangYang people, all out after the exams man. Not to mention, teachers as well.

We met up with TangJie and two other guys at 5:40PM, we were late for work, but oh well, better late then never. First day of work, we ended at around 11 and took our pay, left for home.

Tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, the whole week, as usual. But tomorrow onwards, Lydia and a friend of hers would be joining in.

Determination

Have you ever found motivation to study really hard, and halfway through, when your exams are just weeks away, you completely lose all the motivation you have, flunk every single test, and indulge yourself in your forms of entertainment? I have.

Primary 1 to Primary 3, I had extremely good results, but never mind that, primary school stuffs are really easy. Except until primary 5 and 6, I practically flunked everything, indulged myself in computer games, arcade games, sports, going out and so on. Even until the night before PSLE officially starts, I did not touch my books at all. Well maybe I did flip through, but I remember clearly, at that time, it was just for show to my parents. The consequences I faced are that, I scored a pathetic aggregate of 179/300.

It never ended all the way until last day, when I saw some of my classmates, schoolmates, and friends outside retain or drop out of school. Their facial expressions struck me hard. At that time,  I was motivated to study, I woke up. But, I went back to sleep, only until recently, I don’t know how, I just found  some motivation, and through books, through living examples, determination in me built up, I don’t know if I’ll even make it through N levels, I won’t say that I woke up early enough, but who knows.

I won’t talk about where to find inspiration and motivation, I’ll talk about where to find determination, where or how, to start building it up. This post is more for those who are stuck, but people who can’t even find inspiration and motivation, hope you find it here, infact, all 3 are linked more or less, because when you are inspired, you are motivated, when you are motivated, determination is the last thing you need to succeed.

Take a baby for example. When babies are born, they don’t have any negative thoughts, all they think about is want, want more, want a lot more. They want milk, they want food, they want warmth, they want everything that seems nice to them, they want more. They don’t think anything about not wanting anything. They don’t fear losing anything. There is no other thought in their mind that is deterring them from getting what they want. They don’t know how to walk on 2 legs, but once they see it, they get inspired, motivated, and TOTALLY determined to walk on 2 legs, they don’t know pain, they don’t know what’s falling down, they are not scared of them both, they don’t know what’s failure, they don’t know what’s depression, they don’t know what’s being pissed off, they don’t know that being laughed at isn’t a good thing, they have no thoughts stopping them from attempting to stand up and walk on 2 legs. They then keep on trying and trying, and finally, one fine day, they make it.

You see, what breaks down our determination is our mood, our feeling, our thoughts. When we think about the many things to do before succeeding, we feel tired even before starting. It’s all in our mind. Whatever’s stopping us, is inside us. But don’t forget, whatever’s able to start us up, is inside us as well. Why think about the long way and many things to do before succeed, when you can think of how much money, how much glory, how much your x-factor is going to increase, how much respect you will get, when you succeed? Why think about someone who turns into a millionaire overnight by striking lottery, when you can think about how long more does he have before finish spending the money and earning twice or more his million with just a little bit of thinking with your powerful experienced brain? Don’t think about the process, think about the results.

Take it all away

Met up with all at 2:30pm today. There was Ian Huan, Jerome, Shao Loong, Dixon, ChunYu, JunJie. JunJie and ChunYu left us upon arrival at Orchard. The rest of us decided to play pool first before shopping, although Ian bought a hat first. We played for awhile before Ian left for the hospital to visit his aunt. We played $32.50 of pool.

We headed down to FarEast Plaza, to eat, and shop. It was 9.41PM(I remembered, for I don’t know why). And we took 143 to Toa Payoh interchange together, to leave for home.

Originality

How do you style your hair, how do you wear your clothes, what style do you wear them, how do you speak, what do you do. Do you do things the way you do it due to influence or you do it your very own way?

Do you piss your friends off when you seem to wear, do and act like they do?

Do you get pissed off when your friends seem to wear, do and act like you do?

I wouldn’t get pissed off if I were you, because it goes to shows that I’m off great influence. I only get pissed off when I can’t think of any “new stuffs” to come up with.

It’s true, sometimes doing things the way successful do so, can lead you to success too. But it’s just sometimes. What if someone strikes lottery and uses the money to luckily set up a successful business. How are you gonna copy the lottery part?

You see, when you copy, you are always one step behind. When you copied someone all the way, and he suddenly stops. You stop too. When someone you copy becomes a millionaire and stops there, why not be a billionaire instead? He might copy you as a result. Someone you once idolized, now idolizes you.

My dog just bit my little toe

Have you ever wondered where does space lead to?
Have you ever wondered if there's an end to space?
I doubt so.
For everything, we need space.
We need space to breathe, we need space to move, we need space to build, we need space to do.
Think again.
For everything, space is used.
Space is used to store air, space is used to enable our movements, space is used to build, space is used to do.
Space is the place where we realize our potential.
I believe also, that space is endless.
So that an architect who believes in building a tower that is three times taller than Earth, has the space to do it.
So that when scientists believe in designing a craft able to fly into space as deep as they want, has the space to prove it.
So that when one believes in flying away from Earth into space where no one thought was possible to reach, has the space to prove it.
So that when Earth is out of land space, has the space to carry out plans.
I bet, that in the future, breathing in outer space would not be a problem. I can see it.
Nothing's impossible, even if it seems so. Because it only seems so now.
If inedible unriped fruit can turn into an edible riped fruit, unbreathable air can turn into breathable air.
If electricity can light up Earth, humans can light up space.
If scientists can alter the characteristics and properties of elements to adapt to a certain thing, they can do the same to themselves, humans.
Again, I'm saying here, that everything comes from within, not from without.
Nothing comes from space, everything in space comes from within us, within our minds.
Things only seem impossible when it is believed to be impossible. But the fact is, everything is possible.
For everything, we have space to do it, we have our minds to occupy space.
Space is our toy. It's up to us as to how are we gonna play with it.
We must play with it, we have no choice.
No matter what, at the end of the day, this toy of ours will either be spoilt, or upgraded.
Whatever it is, all we need to know is.
Everything comes from within, not without.
Space is there for everything within us to be taken out.
.rehto hcae ot ekops tsal ew nehw s'tahT .gninrom txen eht tfel uoy dna ,ybab a ekil tpels uoy ,revo emac uoy ,yadhtrid ruoy retfa thgin ehT