Over and done with

I’m really getting impatient, I love going to school, but not to study certain stuffs I don’t give a damn about, I’m just studying to get it over and done with as soon as possible. I have much better things to do than go to school and study. I have much better things to study. I still can’t decide whether I should go overseas(either UK or Australia) and complete Uni next year or not, after which I study only what I want to study, know only what I want to know. Singapore’s universities has a policy that does not allow Diplomas offered by foreign educational institutions to be used in Singapore. Damn.

Yakked till 3:30PM at the canteen after school, and we accompanied Babu to the ICA Building to extend his passport, went to eat at the army market, and then back to the ICA Building to wait for YongWei just to leave for home.

“You’re out the door and his through with you.”

I’ve no appetite. ;\
I’m not responsible for my pain.

That phone call.

Missing no more.

I’m bored, I’m supposed to be at town now, but instead, I’m doing chinese homework at home.
Ms Leong wants me to hand up all the homework I owe her since the start of the year.
Which means every single assignment she has given the class so far.
Life’s been a mixture of feelings. It’s making a mixture out of me. ;\
After-schools are getting more and more boring, I simply can’t get into any mood to do anything. All that I feel like, is simply having nice, long chats, and nothing else. I, don’t know.

I am, content.

MIA

Missing in action.

Keep me in there.

It’s amazing how people can laugh at their pathetic results when they know that everyone else laughing along with them is just faking it knowing how sad they are inside. Maybe not so amazing, maybe they just refuse to show how sad they are, but why?
Everyone knows for a fact that if they fare badly, they will start thinking about how much they regret when they are alone. They know they are not happy, they know they are sad, and everyone else will be aware of that. So why act happy?

If one completely does nothing and lets nature decides oneself’s life, then one is bound to live in mediocrity.

And don’t forget about, late nights, playin’ in the dark, and wakin’ up inside my arms. I’m just speaking from experience, nothing can compare to your first true love, so I hope this will remind you when it’s for real, it’s forever, so don’t forget about us.

I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know.

Things between one another change, because one person changes.
Only when one person change, would the other as well.
When one changes, another person’s life changes.

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.

Totally changed.
Totally unrequited.
You.
I still don’t know why.

Straightforwardness.

Why can’t everybody be straightforward?
Why can’t people just get straight to the point?
Why can’t people just go like..
“Hey, I am angry.”
“It’s true, I got jealous because you picked up a pen for him, you can laugh, but I’ll hate you.”
“You won me in 5 games? That’s because you got lucky. I’m saying this because I cannot accept the fact that I actually really lost. I would feel pissed off.”
“I want you back.”
“I Love You.”
“You offended me, I am angry, please apologize.”
“Actually I don’t need to you to apologize, because I hate you just for the sake of it.”

Wouldn’t speaking like this be better? Now, every blog you look at, inclusive of this, every messages you read in your phone and your friends’ phones, every written letters, every movie, everyday, everywhere. All you see is people trying to hint others. You are seeing more and more of stuffs like..
“That night, those words, that closeness. I want them to be forever.”
Why can’t people just go like, “This is to MrABC, I want to be with you.”
So that MrABC doesn’t have to waste time wondering if he is the one being referred to?!

“That day, that knock.. Watch out.”
Why can’t people just go like, “MrABC, I want to fight with you because you knocked into me.”
So that MrXYZ wouldn’t think that that sentence is referring to him as he knocked into the writer as well?!

It’s normal to not wanting to accept the fact that you’ve lost in certain things. It’s normal that you despise people who often use “off form,” “you had advantages throughout the game,” “you have beginner luck,” “I’m just sleepy,” “I’m not wearing my spectacles,” as a “reason” to lose. It’s also normal to be like this, when you are against it.

Everyday, I hold on tighter to my faith in you. But you… it’s all about you. You are the reason why it’s not happening.

Time To Say Goodbye.

Went to SimLim with Terence and Dixon. Terence wanted to get a keyboard, and did so for 16bugs.
Headed down to Queensway Shopping Centre, waited for Charles, he got his boots. And we left.

I guess it’s more or less confirmed that I’ll be leaving secondary school, and heading on to APMI Kaplan to pursue a Diploma. Only that the dates aren’t confirmed yet… After which I have plans for myself.

I don’t really have much to say nowadays. Don’t know.

Have you ever lost a friend(passed away, not just, losing em)?
How did it feel?
Did you regret not telling him/her those many stuffs you wanted to?
Did you regret not showing him/her your concern openly?
Did you regret not apologizing for getting him/her into trouble the other time?
Did you regret not being there for him/her when you were needed?
I have. He just died like that. His sweat was black, he got admitted into the hospital, he died two days later. He was a nice guy, but he was a smoker.

It’s just.. I don’t really know.. I just know that it’s very rare that I get this feeling and I don’t wanna lose it.

Brighton doesn’t really give up.

ShuLing messaged me this morning, and her reply after mine was, “Wah why so fierce?”
Then at home, before meeting KianWei at the bus stop to school, I looked through every single sent message in my phones, messages since November of last year. I realize that when I’m not fully conscious, like when I wake up because of a phone call or text message, what I say or what I type in a text message can be quite scary. I won’t give examples of stuffs I say when I’m half conscious. ;I But as for stuffs I type in a message…

When conscious: “Ah, never mind, it doesn’t really matter anyway. ;I”
When half conscious: “Forget it.”

When conscious: “Don’t know? Then how? Hurry decide leh.”
When half conscious: “Yes or no?”

When conscious: “I’ve stuffs to say to you. Just come out. ;I”
When half conscious: “I wanna meet.”

Maybe I shouldn’t say scary, I should just say, straightforward. I say scary because I actually don’t remember sending all those messages? :S

School ended at 2:10PM, we watched the singing competition’s competition till 4, went to Terence’s house and play ball till 6, and then, home. That’s today.

No, I haven’t gave up. I’m just really, really lost.
I can’t dream yet another dream without you lying next to me in my arms.
Opportunities.

I’ve a brand new fear.

“And if you keep falling down, don’t you dare give in. You will arise safe and sound, so keep on pressing steadfastly, and you find what you need to prevail, once you say,”I can make it through the rain.”"

“If everyone cared, and nobody cried. If everyone loved, and nobody lied. If everyone shared, and swallowed their pride. Then we’d see the day, that nobody dies.”

“Just not fair, and it’s tearing me apart, cauz I know exactly what you’d be, in his gallery.”

Lyrics, lyrics, lyrics.

I shall be able to play the following few songs on the piano perfectly by the year 2010:

Lee Hom – Kiss Goodbye
Lee Hom – Wei Yi
Lee Hom – Luo Ye Gui Gen
Jay Chou – Feng
Jay Chou – Ye Qu
Jay Chou – Ni Ting De Dao
Nickelback – If Everyone Cared
Coldplay – The Scientist
Timbaland – Apologize
Lloyd – Streetlove
Mario Vazquez – Gallery
Mario Vazquez – One Shot

I don’t know how impossible it seems, but anyway. Eheheh.

Next time you go to the gym, think of something that really bothers you, and you’ll be surprised with how long you’ve been on the treadmill, how many times you’ve lifted a 10kg dumbbell, how many times you’ve lifted the benchpress 5kg heavier than your own body weight, how many sit ups you’ve done while hugging 6kg of weights at your chest.

Today’s all about the gym, and snooker at SnookerZone.

“It’s dark as hell and hard to find. You can climb to the top of the highest tree, you can look around, but you still won’t see what I’m lookin for. All that I’ve given, all that we’ve done. Where have the good times gone?
Well I still don’t know.”
I’ve the company of 4.3million people, but so what?
I’ve a new kind of fear in me. But that’s a good thing, I suppose.

One Republic

It’s too late to apologize. One Republic.
It’s so much better than the Timbaland’s version.

You know..
I’m a very sensitive person..
I’m a very sentimental person..
I’m a very curious person..
I’m a very happy person..
I’m a very sad person as well..
I’m a very sad, happy, person. And I believe everyone’s like that.

I thought I understand you.
Tell me why.