Beat my heart.

I still haven’t got rid of my nails over-cutting habit. Save me before I become nailless. :I

Starting from the 27th Of December…
Met up with Dixon in the noon to get our school books, but failed to as Wilson said there’s practically nothing left for us to buy. So we headed down to town to return the uniforms we got from our workplace, then met Lydia, Jermaine, ZhiWei, YiBin and…two other guys from my primary school whose names I don’t know at Cineleisure. Sorry, eheh.

We walked around town eating, drinking and chatting away until YiBin and the other two guys left, walked back to Cine, played pool at K-Pool against Dixon as the girls didn’t really wanna play after seeing Dixon somehow pocket all except one of his ball in first, one, turn.

HongWee came to join us, and we ate at Burger King downstairs, after which Jermaine and ZhiWei left. Due to boredom, we went back up to K-Pool to play a few more games. Then while waiting for MuJia, we watched stunt bikers, roll bladers and skaters at the practice area behind the bus stop opposite Somerset MRT.

Ate at AngMoKio where MuJia met us, went to Lydia’s house for a sleepover. Played board games, card games, and used the laptop before sleeping.

Left for home in the morning to catch somemore sleep for Joanne’s birthday chalet later in the day. The chalet(Aloha Changi Cranwell Bungalow 2), was a boring one, but THE chalet, was quite fun. First day was barbeque, kicking of balls around the room, playing of PSPs, drinking and stuffs. 2nd day was rather similar, except that we spent half the day out playing pool and heading home for our handphone chargers. Today’s the 3rd, the last day, everyone left for home after eating at Changi Village. :I

Pictures for the pre-sleepover @ Lydia’s blog.

Some people are very easily affected by just words alone. — People like me.

I’ve been tired since I woke up today, or rather, yesterday.
My mood right now is rather shitty. I don’t know.
I don’t know what’s going on.
I don’t know what’s happening.
I don’t know why.
I know this is normal.
I don’t know why is this normal.
I know the cause. — The thoughts running through my mind right now.
At times like that, I’d usually hit the gym, dive into the pool, or simply blast music with my headset on.
It’s 3:32AM, both the gym and the pool are closed, and my songs are contributing to the thoughts in my mind right now, that I refuse to get rid of. I wanna continue thinking the thoughts that are in my mind now, that are making me feel screwed up.
I’m holding onto “what if.”
If it wasn’t there, now I’d be a 100% confused man.
Maybe I’m too sensitive, but oh well.

My dog looks like a lamb now.

Mind, body, and soul. It’s nice to test the patience of people.

A ten-lap swim after zero hour and zero minutes of sleep since roughly 11AM yesterday till now.
I love sleep only when I’m extremely shagged. And that’s what I am now.

Firstly, my phone has got some serious problem, if you call or message me and I don’t answer or reply, most probably it’s because I didn’t receive it. I’ve got many people asking me why didn’t I answer their calls and reply their messages when I don’t even know they called/messaged me. :\

Secondly, thanks for all the gifts.

Thirdly, I’m kind of lazy to blog about Christmas Eve and Christmas(today) now, but anyway..
Yesterday, went to play ball at SMG till 3+, slacked around, headed home with JX, bathed and everything, met MuJia at Tampines, went to Clarke Quay’s The Central for my dinner at Subway.
Then at.. I don’t know, prolly 8 or 9+, we simply sat at the river side staircase till 12 and left. Reached her house at roughly 1AM, chilled and boarded a cab at 1:22AM, reached Tampines MRT at 1:30AM to see the last train leave, me. ):
Cabbed down to Raffles Place Lau Pa Sat to meet KaiLoon, ZhenHui, Shawn(the little one), Jarrod, and for some reason, Fabian and Kevin as well. The cab fare costed me $23 and KaiLoon had to pay $10 for me, eheheheh.
We walked from Raffles to The Esplanade’s esplanade, sat there till 2:30AM? And then decided to play LAN at Parklane. When we reached Paradiz, for a moment we thought we went there for nothing because the doors were locked. People outside were locked out, and people inside were locked in. We managed to get in from the back door, in which some smart people stopped it with a lighter, so we played till about 5:30AM, only to know we can’t get out until 6AM when the doors are unlocked. We came out and bus 166 was right infront of us, we didn’t realize it till little Shawn told us. We ran like nuts for it, jumping over chairs and even people. LOL.
We all alighted at Thomson CC at about 7AM, played with the spray cans, then played ball again. Came home, bathed, changed, ate, used the computer and stuffs, then went for work, for the last time, maybe for this year.

Our mind, our body, and our soul. These are what we have, and what we need. Without a mind, our body and soul can never decide. Without a body, we can’t execute the actions decided by our mind and encouraged by our soul. Without a soul, we can’t put ourselves into a mood to do what our mind has decided for our body to do.
To maintain a body, one eats, and exercises. To maintain the mind, one thinks positively, and trains. To maintain the soul, one must love.
To focus on only two, or one, one can never live life fully.
Ah, I don’t know.

Only a few more days till school reopens. I’m not working for the next two days, and KianWei’s chalet would be on the 28th to 30th. After that, would be pool with KaiLoon after a long time, and getting shoes with em. Then.. maybe a day or two of rest before school officially starts. :I

Pain in the ass.

18th December, 2007 – Release of GCE N Level’s results.
Entered school not knowing whether to worry or not.
Talk some cock down at the canteen with the rest.
Clock strikes 2, and we all went up to the hall for our results.
Many acted as though they were okay after knowing their results.
We can tell.
The rest, some weren’t surprised, some were surprised.
Me? Surprised. 5 Points.
English – 2 Points
Combined Humanities – 2 Points
Mathematics – 1 Point.
What I relied on, what surprised me.

Headed down to Changi Airport in school uniform to meet MuJia, had our dinner at the staffs’ canteen.
For the day, two things in common we ate were the fried rice at the staffs’ canteen, and a pack of chocolate from NTUC Fairprice.
Went to SAFRA@Tampines after that to wait for Dixon. Played photohunt on the touch screen thing till about 11PM, went out to meet Dixon, then went to MuJia’s house for clothes.
Did some climbing and the playing of CityBlox at a nearby playground till 12AM+, MuJia went up, me and Dixon went down to SAFRA for ONE GAME OF POOL before the place closed. Infact, it wasn’t really pool, we played with some rule stating that we are to pocket our balls into one pocket decided by the opponent throughout the game.
We went to MacDonalds for breakfast I guess, slacked till 3:30AM? Then while walking to Tampines Mall, we saw a minimart that attracted us, so we ended up spending the morning there. Was tired like nuts.
Met MuJia at 7AM+, while Dixon went home. More or less slept my way from her house to Changi Airport. She went for work, I boarded 53, and then again slept all the way till Bishan Int.
Came home, slept, woke at roughly 10AM+ with a terribly uncomfortable stomach. I had this very acute pain in my stomach that wouldn’t stop, had diarrhea, I vomitted, and I was dizzy. I went to the hospital, and the doctor told me his gonna put medicine into my ass, so I thought it was that tablet thingy, and instead, he took out an alcohol swap, a plaster, and a very big needled jab. Cool. It helped a lot, the pain stopped seconds after the jab, but came back about 30minutes later though. Later on, I found out that MuJia had almost the same problem as me, and we concluded it was one of the two stuffs in common we ate, the fried rice with unfresh prawns should be the cause, I guess. Now I’m running a temperature of 38.3, having come and go stomach cramps, come and go vomitting sensations, diarrhea, and wobbly legs? :I

Tomorrow, I’ll have to hand up my application form for Secondary 5, otherwise I would have no time to, working on Friday. ):

When I’m with somebody all I think about is you, when I’m all alone, that’s all I wanna do.
Just a sidekick, or more than that?

Juggling.

Yesterday, pool with Dixon at SnookerZone, accompany for dinner at FarEast Plaza, kind of screwed him up a bit, RafflesCity to meet MuJia, then to Marina Sq for dinner, headed to Tampines, and then home.

Today, dinner with MuJia again, at Changi Airport T1’s Popeyes, then to Tampines Mall for her lanyard, hit the arcade, walked around Century Square without knowing so for the first few minutes, to her house, home. And, broke a promise to Dixon. :\

Tomorrow… GCE N Levels Results.
Oh man, I’m so excited. I can’t believe it. I used to pray so hard for getting good results, but for some reason, I actually don’t mind failing(I’m not consoling myself, just incase, I mean it!)
Passing means a few more years of unability to plan anything big.
Failing means a whole lot of time for me to plan stuffs.
I mean, readers should know, I ain’t really a believer of certificates.

Now I know what it feels like. Now I know it’s hard to juggle between different things of similar value.

I’ll treat your soul like it’s mine.

Letting go
Have you gotten very close to somebody recently, and realized that he/she at the same time, is getting closer to another person, and that person is pulling him/her away from you?
Have you broke up with your partner for a month now but still can’t accept the fact?
Has your pet hamster passed away but you still shout its name whenever you walk pass it’s cage because you forgot?
Have you got someone you hate and can’t seem to forgive?
Have you got stuffs you can’t seem to let go off?
You wanna know why?
Because you keep thinking of it.
You wanna know why?
Because you don’t stop thinking of it.
You wanna know why?
Because you don’t know how to.
You wanna know how?
Start thinking of other thoughts.

Back to the Law Of Attraction — Thoughts.
What you think, is what you get, get this into your thick skulls first.
Now why? Go and read up.
I believe my 13th December’s post title is “You cannot shape something without having first thought of it.”
You see, this means as long as you thought of something, sooner or later, it will come to into reality. Yes, right now you might have thought of something that nobody has ever thought of, and when you die, it might not have been thought of YET. I mean, what makes you think that from now till the end everything, you’ll remain the only one who has thought of that particular thought? What I’m saying is, what you think, is what you get. Your thoughts come true.
People don’t get what they want because they don’t get definite thoughts.
Today John thinks he loves Lisa, but tomorrow John thinks Mary is not bad either. No way is he gonna get both, or either, because he hasn’t specifically thought of what he wants to come true.
Right now, let’s say John gets rejected by Lisa. He loves her so much he thinks about her every second. He knows he has to let her go, so he thinks of letting her go, but at the same time, keeps thinking of the memories they had together, and keeps thinking that he isn’t able to let her go. So which is gonna come true? None. For your thoughts to come true, be specific and focus only on it.
And then… Let’s say, John hates his mother for being unreasonable, illogical and unfair to him. He thinks he wants to leave her, but he thinks that yes, although unfair, she, still more or less single handedly kept him alive till today. Thinking like this won’t make things better, because it’s like not being to decide between two choices.
Whenever it comes to letting go of something, you have to first decide between two paths of thoughts.
1. Think of forgetting that person/incident and finding someone/something else better. Use your mind to decide what comes true, it must be specific.
2. Let your confused mind/thoughts cause you to procrastinate and get no results.

If I were a builder, then you’d have a castle, to rival the highest mountain. And If I were a billionaire, I’d give you every material thing. But unfortunately all I have to give to you, is an imperfect heart. But it’s a heart that beats, only, for you. Listen to this, girl, if you’ll give me one shot, I’ll love you forever now, no man will do you better now. Love is a risk, but if you’ll give me one shot, I’ll show you you’re the only girl, in this world who can give me this feeling. Baby, that’s how I feel about you, you’re one a million, I’d rather die than live without you. We can’t miss, so if you give me one shot, we can do it girl. Now girl I’m only human I’m full of many faults, I’m guarantee to fall short. But you’ll never hear about me cheating on you coz’ I never would betray your trust, no matter what, I would look to you and only you, for love, I treat your soul, like it was mine. What a privilege for me to breathe your air, doesn’t that say that I care. I’m talking about, love in the morning, just like you want it, anything you need, you can call me for it, all my heart, all my soul, always stay, never go, everyday, every night, the rest of your days, the rest of your life.

Xylitol, ulcers, xylitol, ulcers.

A quick post before hitting the gym.
Yesterday, at 3:25PM, I was reminded to work at 5:30PM, so I rushed down to town without eating lunch to meet MuJia, then went to Orchard Hotel, we all changed, me and Anthony ate, waited for the girls and went up late, although we didn’t get our pay deducted luckily. I partnered with some small and noisy auntie who lectured me throughout the dinner, but yeah, she does her job well. I spilt quite a lot of stuffs on the guests… It happens, so never mind. :I
Left with Jessica, JunFeng and MuJia, Jessica and JunFeng went for supper at Kovan, me and MuJia went for ours at BoonKeng, after which we somehow ended up at Tampines after a freezing bus ride from BoonKeng. We played 3 and a half..? games of pool at SAFRA@Tampines till 3AM, walked to her house, and at 3:35AM, I cabbed from Tampines to Yishun to meet Jerome and Dixon. I hate midnight cabs, because of the time, surcharge was 50% of the normal fare, plus on some expressway, there was a roadblock, AGAIN. That roadblock costed me at least $2 out of the $21 cab fare.
I waited a lightyear for Dixon and Jerome and Northpoint’s McDonalds, after they arrived, I was too tired to do anything and so we chatted till 6AM and took 852 home. I don’t know where they went though, I believe they’re still asleep like pork now and is unable to tell me.

You cannot shape something without first having thought of it.

I think it’s really hard to tell whether there’s a difference.

An hour and twenty minutes of bus ride from Bishan to Changi Airport.
Met MuJia and ate lunch at T2’s Burger King, there’s a funny staff there who laughs even while placing an order. Then down to Orchard Cineleisure to play pool.
Played while waiting for Iman to pass me stuffs till 4PM, and left to meet Lydia, HongWee, and Jessica.
Walked around the lower level of Wisma and then to Orchard Hotel.
We were early, work starts at 6PM and we thought it starts at 5:30PM.
It’s one to one today. And the guests at my table eats really slow.
They refuse to let me clear their dishes and the whole table is so crammed.
By the time the last dish is served, the first few dishes can still be seen on the table.
After work, we all took our pay and left. When we were about to head down Dhoby Ghaut MRT’s escalator, some guy wanted to borrow our phones to make a phone call, or rather, borrow either MuJia or Jessica’s phone. He spent 4minutes asking where the other fellow is and could’ve made us miss the last train if we didn’t ask for the phone back. Anyway, supper with MuJia at BoonKeng’s McDonalds again. And now I’m home.
Tomorrow, think I’m gonna have my plans clashed with one another.

If it is, don’t let me screw up.
If it isn’t, don’t let it happen to me again.
Let me break the come and go cycle once again.
It’s been long since I last did so.

Lack, of, confidence.

This one post, is gonna be a long one. But it’s for everything that’s happened since my previous post. Actually not everything, but because some gay named Ernest that I failed to meet to pass him some stuffs for the past few days got pissed and says to me on the phone just now that I must fully explain to him why. And also, please remember to take a look at the good deals I have after the end of the post.
So here goes..

Stuffs that happened after my previous post:

Work at Orchard Hotel. WangTe spilt drinks onto a customer, placed his tray on the carpet, and then XiYi tripped over his tray and spilt all her drinks on the carpet. I laughed and got scolded. LOL. After work, was a mini celebration of MuJia’s birthday. We couldn’t decide where to go, what to do, and somehow ended up at Changi Airport, and even spent the night there. We alighted CityBus 36 at T1, took the sky train to T2, went hunting for a suitable cafe/restaurant to sit and eat at, and we did so at Polar. I bought her a slice of black forest which was decided by drawing of lots. And I bought myself.. err, a hotdog roll and a curry puff. After that we basically walked and sat around till 6AM when the city buses start operating, went to Tampines where she lives and then cabbed home.

I reached home at about, 7AM, bathed and all, then slept till 11AM. Headed down to work at Celio, which ended at 7PM. Then biased Lydia got me to look her and MuJia up at Takashimaya’s art friend, waited for Hong Wee, and we went to Cine’s food court to give MuJia a surprise celebration. Haha, got Hong Wee to buy his food and go back to his sit, while me and Lydia went up and bought two slices of cheese cake and the very last candle they had.
There are actually friends out there who uses the amount of oil left in a lighter to limit their friendship! Okay anyway, after the singing of birthday song, eating of cake, talking of crap and all, MuJia went home to get some stuffs, while me, Lydia and Hong Wee rented DVDs(Shrek 3 and Hannibal Rising) at Thomson Plaza for the stayover at Lydia’s house later on. For the night, there was Me, Hong Wee, Lydia, MuJia, JunJie, and JasonKoh. Watched Xiong Di, brought by JunJie and Jason, then watched Shrek3. I fell asleep while watching Shrek3, the rest fell asleep after watching Shrek3, except for MuJia who went to sleep the moment it started.
All of us woke up at about 11AM today, I came home to bathe and change and went back there. Watched Hannibal Rising, played some card games, blah. Then we all left for our work and stuffs.
I don’t have the pictures, maybe at Lydia’s blog.

VERYGOODDEALS:

Intel Chipset MainBoard (945)
(MASSIVE) 1GB DDR2 533 Mhz\677 memory
Intel Extreme Graphics 2 int. AGI ( up 64Mb*)
80GB Harddisk Drive 7200rpm SATA2
DVD RW + (DUal layer)
7.1ch AC’97 Audio sound int.
10/100 Ethernet POrt
6* USB2.0 port (2xfront 4x Rear)
P4 ATX Tower Casing w/ Smart Power Supply
PS/2 Keyboard, optical mouse & speakers
19inch LCD monitor

Intel Dual Core E2140 1.6Ghz =$800
Intel Core 2 Duo E4400 2.0Ghz = $890
Intel Core 2 Duo E6420 2.13Ghz = $955
Intel Core 2 Duo E6550 2.33Ghz = $1062
Intel Core 2 Duo E6750 2.66GHz = $1105
OR
19Inch LCD + ALL IN 1 INERNAL CARD READER
Intel Dual Core E2140 1.6Ghz =$864
Intel Core 2 Duo E6320 1.86Ghz = $964
Intel Core 2 Duo E6400 2.13Ghz = $1094
Intel Core 2 Duo E6600 2.4Ghz = $1122

If I were a builder, then you’d have a castle to rival the highest mountains.

ASUS P5KPL-VM Mobo + 2GB Kingston/Crosair/Crucial DDR2
ASUS AMD 64+ X2 4200+ Dual Core 4GB+ 250GB* 500W
Intel-Ic2D E6750 2.66Ghz + 2GB DDR2 RAM + 250GB* + 450W
Intel-Ic2D E4500 2.0Ghz + 2GB DDR2 RAM + 250GB* + 450W

Interested in any of the above? Contact me @ brighton.y@gmail.com, they’re going off at superb prices.

Many people say, if you wake up being pissed, you’ll be pissed for the day. If you wake up confused, you’ll be confused for the day, and so on.
Today, I woke up indecisive. I woke up, not being able to decide whether I should get out of bed, hence, not being able to decide everything else for the day.
I went for a haircut at JeanYip United Square, and met Dennis there, it’s been so long since I last met him. Anyway, he was heading to work, and so we both headed to town together.
I alighted at Somerset, went to KBox@Cine to find MuJia and her friend, not to sing.
Her friend left and we went KPooling till.. I don’t know. 4 or 5PM?
Couldn’t leave the place because of the weather, so we sat around until it stopped. Then had problems deciding where to go. We ended up walking all around City Hall area. Esplanade, CityLink, Marina Sq, Raffles Place.
Oh yeah, we got spot checked by the police.
I never knew that sitting under the bridge at the esplanade of The Esplanade isn’t allowed.
Whatever it is, we walked all around City Hall and headed home at about.. 9PM to 10PM. :\