Okay, basically I usually ignore phone calls when I am still very tired and don't want to wake up, but today, although I was still very tired, I heard my phone ring, I answered it without looking at who called, and that phone call made my day. My mood for the day to be exact, but I did fight with my mood though, so in the end it isn't really that bad.
To those who have been asking me questions through commenting on my entries, if you wish to, you can e-mail me at brighton.y@gmail.com instead, as I believe some of you out there might have more personal questions or things to say which you think wouldn't be good to be showed as a comment even though your identity is kept anonymous.
Questions that I think I have answers that are too long for a reply as a comment, I'll just answer them through my entries.
In my previous post, someone asked:
“How do I approach a girl that I've never spoken to before, and befriend her?”
This is more of a Men's post, but girls should read too, just incase I make any mistake in trying to “explain” you. (;
Before answering, I have to make this clear, I am typing everything with my very own understanding, in my very own opinion. Any advices given by me MIGHT NOT be reliable, I am not what you call a successor in the relationship stuffs, in addition to that, I've never got myself to apply any of my own advices in my own life when it comes to relationship, don't ask me why, probably because of my failure to “execute” them in time, or courageously enough. By the way, to the guy who posted the question of this entry, I don't know your name, I'd just call you ABC in this entry if I have to, hope you don't mind that. Here goes:
You always hear this saying in Singapore, it says, “Guy see looks, girl see feeling.”
Well, it's true, more or less. But I wouldn't use “looks” and “feeling.”
I would use “appearance” and “value.”
I would say:
Fully matured men get impressed by a woman's appearance(sexual appeal) at first.
Fully matured women get impressed by a man's value to her at first.
Hardly would you see fully matured men get impressed by a woman's value at first.
Hardly would you see fully matured women get impressed by a man's appearance at first.
Take note of “Fully matured.”
Don't give a damn about immature minds yet, they don't know who, what, why, when, where and how they like someone else.
There are differences between immature and mature minds. When a retard comes by, an immature mind would laugh and gossip about the retard, whereas a mature mind would just shut up. But one thing for sure is that, both immature and mature mind would see the retard as someone of little value to them, and wouldn't really wanna associate with them. For women, they don't judge you by your appearance, they judge you by your value to them. You see, when a woman is attractive, this means that many guys “react in a way”, or to be more exact, be more or less, “sexually aroused” upon seeing her, and thus would behave in a certain way. Living for at least 10 to 15 years already, she would have been already be able to “recognise” the behaviours, and so she knows who is attracted to her, and who is not. She has seen lots of guys reacting to her, for years, maybe decades, she is sick of such guys, they don't turn her on in anyway. So the bottom line is that, women are more attracted to men who don't “react like all other low valued guys” upon seeing her, because the fact that a man isn't “impressed” by her appearance already makes her question herself, and at the same time feels that she gives more damn about you than you give a damn about her. She feels that in this world, you are more wanted than she is, she feels that being with you would definitely bring more “wants” than being with the others. That's when going over and saying a simple “hi” and being friends is something possible. Starting a conversation with her wouldn't be easy, and wouldn't be hard as well. It takes courage. It takes quick thinking. Stutter and you're gone. You have to speak fluent, you have to maintain your high value to her. Because don't forget that as long as you take the initiative to befriend her, you rip off a bit of your value to her although she still is impressed by your ability to stay “calm.” Women don't like guys who are interested in their appearances, right? So try your best to speak more to make her think that you are interested in her, but not her appearances, like her sense of fashion, her voice, how much you two have in common, and at the same time, making her “more” into the interaction between you and her.
Let's say, you've accomplished the first impression part. Now you are friends, how are you gonna remain friends, or go further? Well, just look at you and your friends, or if any girl out there likes you, what would make you remain their friends, or go further? Many would say security, many would say comfort, many would say sense of belonging, bingo. They are all the same. When you feel secured, you feel comfortable, when someone is willing to secure, you feel as though you belong to em. Hmmm, how do I put this? Just make her feel comfortable the way you want your friends to make you feel comfortable with them. Don't pull off cold jokes, if you don't have a funny face to back it up. Don't drink if you can't. Don't take a cab if you can't afford to. Make her feel good, make her your company and vice versa, don't be her dog. Don't make your value so low she feels as though you're getting more and more of a well-designed book cover jerk. Spend time with her doing things with meanings, with value, not burn paper and say it's fun. Make sure she thinks that you are one man, that can be relied on forever, trusted forever, secure her forever, comfort her forever. Be there for her.
To impress, is to increase value. Here's an example:
When your friend shows you his huge muscles, you feel more secured with him, because you need not fear any bad guys. And he becomes of more value to you.
That's all I have to say.
How far you want to go, it's all up to you. This is all I think I know. How much you trust my “personal opinions and understandings” depends on you.
